Be empowered to listen to your own advice.

Everyone has the resources they need within themselves to be the best version of themselves, they just need to listen to their own advice.  Written by trainee Ollie Coach, Jess Goddard

You’re in control of your own cup of tea.

Have you ever gone to a friend for advice but they haven’t quite delivered? Or a family member who didn’t quite hit the nail on the head? Or have you ever given a friend your best quality advice and watched in horror as they’ve done something else instead?

So why didn’t they take your advice? And why do you pick and choose which advice you take from your own friends and family? No matter how well you know someone, their advice won’t always work for you. But why is that?

Let me ask you this… if I offered you a cup of tea with milk and two sugars, would you take it? Some of you might cringe at the thought of two sugars, others may leap at the chance for a tea like this, some of you may prefer a coffee! But I like my tea that way, so why doesn’t everyone drink tea with two sugars? It’s because we are all different, and we all have different likes and dislikes. If you don’t want tea with sugar you won’t drink it no matter how appealing I try to make it. My sugary tea doesn’t work for everyone, and those who do like it might not want it at the moment I offer it. You may politely take my sugary tea and give it a try, but chances are it won’t make you feel very good.

Advice is like a cup of tea, if it’s not yours you don’t want to drink it. If I offer you my tea with two sugars and that’s not how you want it, you’re going to reject it. Even though that tea works for me, it may not work for you. So my best advice may not be what you need or want. What if instead I asked you, ‘how would you like your tea?’ and gave you the control to make that decision because you know which tea is best for you. Solutions to problems have to come from the person experiencing them because they know their situation and can make the best decision for themselves. Don’t take someone else’s cup of tea – make your own!

The Ollie Model supports clients to find their own solutions and take responsibility for their own change. Everyone has the resources they need to be the best version of themselves. What if you could take your own advice and make changes in the way you want to, the way that works for you. Ollie coaches help you to help yourself by empowering you to listen to yourself and help you achieve your own goals. What advice can you give yourself today? You’re in control of your own cup of tea.

We can’t force our own cups of tea onto everyone else – even if it’s the way you like it. So next time when listening to a friend speak about a problem, instead of jumping in with your best advice, try asking them what they think might help. Your cup of tea is not theirs. And the next time you find you’re in need of some advice, trying having a chat with yourself – you may find it’s the best cup of tea you’ve ever made.

Jess Goddard, trainee Ollie Coach

Jess is currently training to be an Ollie Coach whilst working as a Teaching Assistant. She has a First Class Degree in Psychology which has sparked both her interest in people's thinking processes and her passion for helping people. Jess is enjoying training with Ollie and his Super Powers and looks forward to qualifying and beginning her journey as an Ollie Coach.

To get in contact with Jess, email