Disappointment
by Cat Rowley
"Just because you made a mistake, doesn’t mean you are a mistake.”
Georgette MosbacherA mistake, a disappointment. This does not mean that you are a mistake or a disappointment. It's a natural consequence in trying and doing something you've not done before and it not quite going to plan - not meeting your original expectations.
It hit like a light bulb moment - something I need to share. In my full blog I'll share the background, my personal journey of why and how I learnt these steps, putting them into practice, and go into greater detail in each step. But I know that even just sharing these 4 steps, you will add it to your world and put these specific steps into action as and when you need them. Plus I can see you'll add your own steps - and adapt for you.
For now here are the 4 Magic steps I use to deal with disappointment.
1/ Recognise the emotion, or emotions 
the feelings you have that are connected with the disappointment - whether it be sadness, annoyance, frustration, guilt..... The first step is to acknowledge that feeling. A simple "I am disappointed, sadness/frustration/anger/guilt has grown bigger than it usually is" or however you need or want to do it - say it out loud, write it down, text a friend.
the feelings you have that are connected with the disappointment - whether it be sadness, annoyance, frustration, guilt..... The first step is to acknowledge that feeling. A simple "I am disappointed, sadness/frustration/anger/guilt has grown bigger than it usually is" or however you need or want to do it - say it out loud, write it down, text a friend.2/ You Matter 
You cared about the outcome - and that matters far more than the disappointment. The fact you care. There is always another way. Focus on you, your why and another way will come. To fail is the "first attempt in learning". You'll recognise that there are lots of things outside your control - focus back on you and what you can actually control.
You cared about the outcome - and that matters far more than the disappointment. The fact you care. There is always another way. Focus on you, your why and another way will come. To fail is the "first attempt in learning". You'll recognise that there are lots of things outside your control - focus back on you and what you can actually control.3/ Get Present 
Bring yourself back to the present moment. Right here, Right now - note what you see, what you hear, what you touch around you (sitting, standing, holding a cuppa... whatever it is) - that's you being present. Fill your mind with the present - avoid the "could haves" "should have" "if onlys" - you can not change the past, no-one can. You can only change the emotion attached to the past - be kind to yourself and your past. Put your energy in to today. Your future needs you.
Bring yourself back to the present moment. Right here, Right now - note what you see, what you hear, what you touch around you (sitting, standing, holding a cuppa... whatever it is) - that's you being present. Fill your mind with the present - avoid the "could haves" "should have" "if onlys" - you can not change the past, no-one can. You can only change the emotion attached to the past - be kind to yourself and your past. Put your energy in to today. Your future needs you.4/ Look at the Bigger picture. 
That one thing that caused the disappointment is only a fraction, a small part. That scan of what you actually have, who you have in your life, what skills, capabilities and knowledge you have. So many paths, a landscape of connections and possibilities.
That one thing that caused the disappointment is only a fraction, a small part. That scan of what you actually have, who you have in your life, what skills, capabilities and knowledge you have. So many paths, a landscape of connections and possibilities.See what I did there, 4 steps, 4 letters - ping
- you now have a simple formula. A new fairy light in your brain - to guide your way - to brighten your own unique and magnificent light. A memory note that when in the future disappointment hits you, you'll be wonderfully surprised at how these steps come to you so effortlessly. What was it Cat said? Ah yes that's right - 1) recognise the emotions 2) I matter - bring focus back to you 3) get present and 4) the bigger picture
- you now have a simple formula. A new fairy light in your brain - to guide your way - to brighten your own unique and magnificent light. A memory note that when in the future disappointment hits you, you'll be wonderfully surprised at how these steps come to you so effortlessly. What was it Cat said? Ah yes that's right - 1) recognise the emotions 2) I matter - bring focus back to you 3) get present and 4) the bigger pictureSteps to follow.
To move forward.
To not carry disappointment.
Instead place disappointment on the path beside you - not within you.
To get in contact with Cat please email Catherine.rowley@ollieandhissuperpowers.com